I need new conspiracy theories because all my old ones came true. How weird is it when your normie friends that used to leave the room when you really got going now are spouting off how there are evil elites trafficking children or covert government ops working with corporations to enslave the masses with technocratic authoritarian policies? Hell, even the government admitted UFOs now. What's even left after Alex Jones can even laugh "I told you so?"

Things are getting weird.

I guess there's still shape-shifting lizard people and COVID-19 vaccine depopulation schemes. Wait, no, Jim in accounting was already posting that shit on Facebook. Damn it.

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• Weight limit: 30 lbs (13.6 kg)
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Size guide